Dear Momma

My mom taught me so much through the years and even at 32, I wish she was here to continue her teachings. The unconditional love that she gave to me is the same love I give to B. As a single mother raising a son, I know my journey is only beginning but even with facing the road ahead I move forward with the strength that was given to me by her. Also the parental advice.
I was the baby in the family, my brother and I being ten years apart. My dad was in the Army but by the time I was born they were settled. I remember it being me, my mom, and my brother while my dad was stationed in Korea. At that age I knew nothing about maintaining a household and bills, etc. My mom hadn't worked at that point for four or five years. All I remember is having the best from JCPenny for back to school, birthdays were awesome, and receiving everything I asked Santa for for Christmas. I look back now and realize that it took strength to raise two kids and maintain a household for the years she did. She truly held it down. As I grew up my mother would remind me of those days and tell me stories of when she was growing up because of her 5 siblings she was the oldest. Again she exemplified her strength as did my grandmother having to raise six children alone.I only pray B remembers these days because they make you an even better parent.
As I've grown into an adult and became a mother my strength continues to grow day by day. All I know is how to walk by faith and continually trust in God. Some may mistake it for being nonchalant but why worry about the circumstance you can't control? I've been near eviction, lights almost off, feeding me and a child with my last $5. Notice I used words like near and almost because God's grace got me what I needed. So I live life not worrying how many friends I have but cherishing the few true friendships I have. I'm not obsessed with my looks. I wasn't born flawless and my goal to tone is for personal gratification, not vanity. I maintain my inner beauty more than my outer. I don't obsess over being in a relationship. There are days that I do hate being alone and would love the affection, but I love the days I have time to myself. The boyfriend will come one day complete with happiness, romance, and respect. I am not a kept woman or high maintenance but like I stated earlier, I got it all as a child. I get it now on my own, God knows his child is grade A and doesn't deserve trife, misery, and disrespect. Plus I want someone that I can laugh with and lay around in bed all day and it not be about sex. I take advantage of every day I wake and able to add a chronicle to my life. As much as I miss my mother, I am happy to know I can walk with my head high possessing her beauty and strength. I am so fearless!
~Love is, above all, the gift of oneself~